Kazuya Sez Part Deux...

*is sitting at his "Organization" desk in Brazil grumbling over paperwork*





*walks in and takes the offending papers away from Kazuya and places them inside his briefcase to work on later*Annoying work is my job remember?





*chuckles*
So the only reason why you've come in to visit me today is to steal away my "annoying" work?





*looks away uncertain for a moment then looks back at Kazuya*
Mishima-sama?





Nobody's around.
*pulls Lee onto his lap and whispers into his ear*
Call me Kazzy-chan.





*smiles faintly and plays with Kazuya's tie*
Remember when you banged that bean pole woman Jun to make son so that a part of you would live forever? Just in case you weren't able to return from the volcano?





*raises an eyebrow at Lee's crude references to Jun, faintly amused that even after 20 years he was still jealous*
Yes.





Well, after a few years, he looked us up.
Kazuya, I want you to meet your son.





My son?





Yes.
*yells loud enough to make Kaz's ears ring*

JIN!

*walks out looking very grungy, and wearing a World Wildlife Preservation T-shirt*
Hi.





*rises from his chair*
Hello, Jin. I'm your father, *pause* Kazuya Mishima.
*gestures to his "Organization"*
Someday this will all be yours!





I haven't seen you my whole life and now you show up and want a relationship?
I hate you!





*stares at Jin*





What?





Can I have a hug?





...No...





Give me a hug.





No way!





C'mere.





I'm not coming over there!





Let's go.





Forget it!





Pronto.





What are you doing?





I'm with it. I'm hip!
*starts doing the Macarena poorly while chanting ducka ducka and finishes by opening his arms*
Huuuuug!





*just stands there staring scarred for life*





Well don't look at me like I'm frickin Frankenstien!
Give your father a hug!





You're... HEY!





*tries to Ultimate Tackle Jin*





*dodges Kazuya's various attempts to embrace him*





*starts chasing Jin*
C'mon!





No don't touch me!
*runs for the door*





*follows after his son arms extended chanting "Hug hug hug"*





Get away from me you spike haired psycho!





THERAPIST'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY





We're in the middle of a group therapy session, containing six or seven FATHERS with their teenage SONS. It is emotionally charged. A lot of pained expressions and coffee in Styrofoamcups.





*crying*
I love you, Dad.





I love you, Son.
*hugs his son*





Everyone APPLAUDS





That was great, Mr. Law, Forest. Thank you. OK, group, we have two new member. Say hello to Jin and his father, ....Kazzy-ya?





*angry*
It's Ka-zoo-ya actually but you may refer to me as Mishima-sama.





GROUP Hello, Mishima-sama. Hello, Jin.


*into it*
Hello, everybody.





So, Jin, why don't we start with you. Why are you here?





Well, it's kind of weird.





We don't judge here.





OK. Well, I just really met my Dad for the first time three days ago. He was inside of a volcano for twenty years. I never knew him growing up. He comes back and now he wants me to take over the family business.





And how do you feel about that?





I don't wanna take over the family business.





But Jin, who's going to take over the world when I die?





Not me.





What do you want to do, Jin?





I don't know. I was thinking, maybe I'd be a vet or something, cause I like animals and stuff.
*glares at Kazuya*
Just like my mother.





An evil vet?





No. Maybe, like, work in a petting zoo or something.





An evil petting zoo?





*irate*
You always do this!
Anyways, this is really hard, because, you know, my Dad is really evil and he has no soul and stuph.





We don't label people here, Jin.





No, he's really evil.





Jin.





*nods his head*
No, the boy's right. I really am evil.





Don't be so hard on yourself. You're here, that's what's important. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.





I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.





OK, Jin, no one really wants to "kill" anyone here. They say it, but they don't mean it.





The group LAUGHS


Actually the boy is quite astute. I am trying to kill him but so far unsuccesfully, he's quite wiley like his old man. You see once he's dead, evil incarnate will take over his soul eating away all the wretched left overs of his mother's humanity.





We've heard from Jin, now let's hear from you.





The details of my life are quite inconsequential.





That's not true, Mishima-sama. Please, tell us about your childhood.





GROUP Yes, of course. Go ahead, etc.

Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving Mishima karate master with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old Japanese prostitute named Kaneda who died giving birth to me. My father would drink, he would drink out of the toilet, then he would do outrageous things, like pitching me off a cliff at a tender age. Sometimes he would carry out long detailed conversations with his pet bear he named aptly enough, Kuma. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers of back breaking training, pain tolerance lessons. In the winter I'd be left out alone in the woods with no food or shelter to fend for myself while my father made sweet love to my step-brother down by the fire. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I made my first pact with the devil. At the age of fifteen, I finally sold my soul to the devil. There really is nothing like a pair of purple wings and a nifty third eye in trade for a worthless soul. You should try it some time, it's breath taking. I trained hard, ran away from home, and returned to pitch my father off the very same cliff he dropped me. From there...


THE THERAPIST AND THE GROUP ARE STUNNED


LATER THAT SAME DAY


*walks into the dining room*





Jin my boy, come here.
How was your day?





Well, me and a buddy went to the video arcade in town and, like, they don't speak Japanese right, and so my buddy gets into a fight, and he goes "Hey, quit hassling me cause I don't speak English or whatever.", and the other guy goes something in Korea talk, and I go "#$%* off!" and he goes "Get out." and I go "Make me.".





*trying to hide contempt*
Fascinating. What are your plans for this evening?





Thought I'd stay in.
There's a good tittie movie on Skin-e-max.





And that's how you want to live your life, is it?





Yeah.
Why?





*curls his lip and reaches for the gun in his suit jacket*





*slaps the back of Kazuya's head*





*gives Lee and evil look*
Jin, I want you to meet Daddy's nemesis,
your Grand-daddy Heihachi Mishima.





Zup?





*scowls* I know who he is! I was raised by him while you were conviently too busy playing in a volcano remember?? Why are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?





In due time.





But what if he escapes?
Why don't you just shoot him?
What are you waiting for?





I have a better idea.
I'm going to put him in an easily-escapable situation involving a very high fall.





Why don't you just shoot him now?
Here, I'll get a gun. We'll just shoot him. Right between the eyes, just like he did me.
Bang! Dead. Done.





One more peep out of you and you're grounded. Let's begin.*Some of Kazuya's "Organization Forces" grab Heihachi. Kazuya hits a button. One whole wall slidesout to reveal a cliff*





Father now is the time to start begging for your life.





Kazzy-ya, do you really expect me to beg?





*twitches at the misprounuction of his name*
No, Father, I expect you to die.
Hearing you beg would have just been an added icing on my victory cake.





Okaaaaay...





*smirks*
Shove him into the bottomless abyss!





*clearing his throat nervously*
Kazzy-chan...Err, Mishima-sama?





Yes, what is it? You're interrupting my moment of triumph.





It's about the the bottomless abyss thing...
Theoretically it's an impossiblity to create considering the earth's crust and...





*interrupting*
Right.
*to Heihachi*
Father, we're going to shove you into the really deep abyss.




*clears his throat again*





*is getting all pissed off*
What is it now?





Well, we experimented with diggin really deep abysses, unfortunately the abyss was so deep it kept collapsing in on itself...





I have one simple request; a friggin' bottomless abyss, and it can't be done?
Remind me again why I keep you?





*states matter-of-factly*
I'm a good lay.





*thinks it over*
This is true.





That's why I adopted him in the first place!
*winks at Lee*





*winks back when Kazuya isn't looking*





*throws a heavy metal candlestick at Heihachi's head*

OUCH!!

*turns his attention back to Lee*
So what do we have?





A valley.





*bitterly*
Right.





There's lots of rocks.





Really? Are they sharp and jagged?





Please allow me to demonstrate.





*throws a mountain goat over the side and pitiful mews are heard every time it bounces off a rock before landing at the bottom with a sickening thwack!*





*scowls*Well it was good, but it wasn't great. Whatever. A rocky valley it is. *to Lee and Jin* Come, my beloveds let's return to dinner. Shove him off the side of the va..va..val...I can't even say it! Just chuck him over the side!





Aren't you going to watch and make sure he dies?
He might survive!





No, we'll leave him alone and not actually witness him dying, and we'll just assume it all went to plan.





*angrily*
I have a gun in my room. Give me five seconds, I'll come back and blow his brains out. We can do it together and like, bond and stuph!





No Jin. You just don't get it, do you?





But...





Shhh!





He'll...





I don't wanna hear it.





Daddy...





One more word and you're off to your room without dinner mister!





*mutters*
Blow me.





*eyes narrow*
What was that?





*clears his throat*
I said...show me...to dinner! Yes to dinner! I am very hungry!





*smiles and wraps one arm around Lee and the other around Jin*It's good to be King.
Of the Iron Fist that is!
*winks*





*can be heard in the background bellowing as he bounces off rocks to the valley bottom*

~fin?~